


an open heart for you

by Anonymous



Category: Twisted-Wonderland (Video Game)
Genre: Confessions, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pre-Relationship, growing relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-20
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:20:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27640619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: “You can’t finish that sentence, Malleus.”The second Lilia cuts him off, Lilia can feel the displeasure coming off of Malleus in waves. Even after all this time, the man still didn’t know how to hide when he was annoyed.“Do you believe I am lying?”“You have never been able to lie to me. Not really,” Lilia still won’t look at Malleus. “I know all your tells. Just how long do you think I’ve been with you?”-Lilia faces his future with Malleus and actually being allowed to want things for himself-
Relationships: Malleus Draconia/Lilia Vanrouge
Comments: 11
Kudos: 47
Collections: Anonymous





	1. an open heart for you

**Author's Note:**

> I'm pretty indifferent with MalleLili as a romanctic ship but I do like their bond and the possibilities for it.  
> My stance on these two is basically down to they're both older than they look Fae and anything is possible in regards to their relationship.

“You can’t finish that sentence, Malleus.”

The second Lilia cuts him off, Lilia can feel the displeasure coming off of Malleus in waves. Even after all this time, the man still didn’t know how to hide when he was annoyed.

“Do you believe I am lying?”

“You have never been able to lie to me. Not really,” Lilia still won’t look at Malleus. He places his hands on the windowsill and leans out, his feet lifting off the floor. Many believe Malleus’s room to be the tower but that is too obvious. Lilia picked this room specifically so he can observe better. He watches as a handful of students hurry past the gate, unaware that they’ve already been caught sneaking out after curfew. Lilia flicks his wrist, signaling to a nearby bat to keep an eye on them. “I know all your tells. Just how long do you think I’ve been with you?”

Lilia’s feet touch the ground again as he turns to look at Malleus. His expression showing just how seriously he’s taking this. “It’s because I know you’re not lying that I’m not letting you say those words. Not to me. Save them for someone else, Malleus.”

That earns him a deeper frown. “I don’t want to save them for someone else.”

“Such a stubborn king.” Despite the situation, Lilia can't help but smile slightly and looks away. “You never did grow out of that. It really does run in your family.”

“Are you always going to treat me as a child?” Malleus’s annoyance grows. Lilia knows he should start being cautious, but he's never had reason to fear Malleus when he gets like this. “I haven’t been one for decades now. Is that the only way you can see me?”

It’s a fair question but makes Lilia sigh all the same. Old habits die hard. Once he’s used to treating someone in a way, he doesn’t easily fall out of it. But part of why Lilia treats Malleus the way he does is because he feels a fondness for him.

A fondness that he shouldn’t.

“Do you think if I truly saw you as a child, I’d be calling you a king already? That I’d allow the things that I do?” Lilia asks. He’s no longer smiling and his tone gets an edge to it. “Do you think I never notice? Despite what others may think, you wear your emotions clearly. At least, to me you do. I do not doubt your affections. I have never doubted them. But I can’t let those words be for me.”

It had been before Silver came into their lives that Lilia noticed the shift in their relationship. They’d gotten closer. Malleus would leave the palace the moment he got word Lilia returned from his travels. Sometimes, if Lilia chose not to return to the palace right away, he’d stay weeks in Lilia’s home.

When Silver happened, Lilia easily fell into the parental role. When he left the palace for good to raise the boy-at least until he could start bringing Silver there-he didn’t expect Malleus to continue coming the way he did. He didn’t expect Malleus to help raising the child whenever he could. Malleus has always been distant with humans, not sure how to handle them yet he was always curious with them. But with Silver, he was swayed with and liked the child. The sight of them together always made Lilia smile.

When they were asked to watch over Sebek from time to time by his grandfather, a routine had already fallen between them. Watching over two children together made the routine stick even more. It made them even closer.

Lilia often pretended like he never noticed the changes. The changes in Malleus, the changes in himself. It was easier that way. To try keeping a barrier between them.

When they came to this school, Lilia was often amused by the jealousy that Malleus shows towards him every now and then. If Lilia talks too much with someone, Malleus grows irritated and pouts. When a brave soul gets too close to Lilia and pries too much, Malleus gives that person his own kind of warning to step back. Something Rook had recently found out for himself.

Dragons are a possessive creature. The fact they were both Fae makes it worse. Once something catches their eye, it’s difficult to let it go. It would be a lie to say this didn’t charm Lilia. He was very taken by Malleus when he shows this side.

But it was all the more reason he had to be careful. For both their sakes.

Lilia walks over to Malleus and lifts off the ground, floating high enough so he can easily press his hand to Malleus’s cheek.

He cares for this person very much. This person he’s watched over for many years, the one he’s tried to help guide as decades past. The one he’s grown so attached to without realizing it.

There’s a warmth and frustration within Lilia’s heart when he is with Malleus, one that he has learned to smother and lock away.

Now that Malleus has made his intentions clear, he needs Malleus to do the same.

“You will be king. I will support you in every way I can. I will do my best to be by your side through it all.”

“But not like that.”

The almost sulky tone makes Lilia smile fondly.

“But not like that.” He repeats. It’s painful to say but it’s something Lilia can live with. He is many years old and it’s not the first time he’s cut off his feelings like this. It will hurt and it will linger, but the wound it leaves will heal over time. He can’t deny, however, this cuts deeper than it ever has before. He strokes his knuckles along Malleus's cheek. “Those affections cannot be for me. No matter how we wish differently. No matter how selfish we wish to be. No matter how unfair it is. So don’t act like the child we both know you aren’t over this. You don’t need me to have your happy ending, Malleus.”

“It’s selfish to want you part of that happy ending? Even when I know you want that also?”

He steps closer. Lilia drops back to the ground, but Malleus grabs his wrist when he removes his hand. His grip is firm but not enough to hurt. They both know Lilia could have avoided it if he had chosen to.

“Why do you never give into what you want, Lilia?”

Lilia smiles but it doesn’t reach his eyes. If only he could tell Malleus why. But there’s too much history there, over 500 years worth and even for Malleus that’s too much to burden him with.

He’s wanted before. He’s wanted so badly, from objects to simply for people to stay. He’s wanted so much and he’s lost even more. The last time he gave into what he wanted was seventeen years ago, and he’s always afraid of the consequences of that selfish and selfless act.

Adding this-whatever this was between him and Malleus-to that list of losses was something Lilia wasn’t sure how he’d handle if it was to happen.

“Not everyone always get what they want, Malleus. Nor should they always get it.” He says quietly. “And I’ve made peace with that a long time ago.”

There’s no lies in his words. Maybe that’s why it irritates Malleus even more

“...you’re doing it again.”

Lilia is sure he hadn't said anything to make Malleus think he's treating as a child. So he's not sure what he's talking about now. “Doing what?”

“You often said to protect our hearts while keeping them open. Yet you always close yours off,” Malleus tugs on his arm, making Lilia step closer. “If you won’t take what you want, what if I give it to you? If you won’t take it for yourself, I’ll just hand it over. You’re the one I want. I have no reason to keep my heart if it means giving it to you.”

Lilia stares up at him with wide eyes. His mouth falls open and for once, he finds himself unable to retort to Malleus’s words.

He doesn’t want to believe in them. But to deny them would be to consider Malleus a liar and he can’t do that to him. It’s a terrifying hope Lilia never tried to grasp for, yet Malleus was all too willingly giving it to him.

“...you truly want me to be by your side?” Lilia asks quietly. “In that way?”

“I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t.”

Lilia watches him, looking for...anything, really. He tries to find uncertainty, any hesitation. He tries to find anything for him to cling onto to prove that Malleus knew not what he talks about.

Instead, he sees determination and sincerity. He sees confidence and assurance in everything that was said.

Lilia feels it again. That warmth and frustration that he only gets around Malleus.

He pulls his arm from Malleus, all too easily getting free. He sees the resignation flicker in green eyes, so he grabs Malleus’s hand and laces their fingers together.

“Lilia?” Malleus sounds confused. Lilia stares at their hands for a moment before meeting Malleus’s gaze.

“....after graduation.”

“Huh?”

“If what you’ve said to me tonight is true-“

“You said you believed me.” Malleus’s eyes narrowed. Lilia returned the look with a glare of his own, his fangs showing as his lips curled in a mock smile.

“Prove to me you are not a child and do not interrupt me like one, my king,” Lilia says lowly. Malleus huffs out a frustrated breath. The expression on his face makes Lilia’s soften. It’s terrible how endearing he can be. Truth be told, Lilia thinks Malleus won’t ever fully rid of that childish side of his. Part of him hopes he doesn't ever lose that innocent side he has. “As I was saying. If what you said to me is true. If your affections are as sincere as you believe them to be...”

He steps closer, pressing his finger on his other hand against Malleus’s lips. “Then we have time. But not while we are here. If you truly want me by your side in that way, then we can wait. When the time is right, then we can try.”

“...why does it still feel like I’m being rejected?”Malleus speaks against his finger. Lilia lets out a small laugh and withdraws his hand. He lets go of the one he’s holding and crosses his arms.

“Don’t think of it as a rejection. Think of it as...” Lilia pauses, thinking for a moment and waves his hand. “As a postponement. Time is nothing to us, Malleus, but the time here is all too short. I want you to experience whatever you can with the time we have left here. I meant what I’ve said, now and before. Protect your heart but, keep your heart open. And if one day, after we leave this place, you decide you still want me...then we can try.”

That’s the most Lilia can allow himself. Right now, that’s all he can give into. Even this felt like too much but this person makes him want to try. To listen to his own words and keep his own heart open. Even if there's consequences it.

Malleus gives him an almost suspicious look. “Will you keep your word?”

“Have I ever not?” Lilia laughs at the look he gets and cuts Malleus off before he answers. “No, I should not ask such a thing. How about this then?”

Lilia steps forward and lifts off the ground to brush their lips together. It’s quick and feather light, but a kiss all the same.

By the time Malleus blinks, Lilia is back at his original place by the window. He leans against the wall, looking all too innocent for what he just did.

“A promise sealed with a kiss. There is no greater binding magic than that. Will you trust me now?”

Malleus still looks slightly stunned. He brings his hand to his lips, like he was in a daze. After several beats, he says, “...I do.”

Lilia watches him, amused at the reaction. Malleus was right when he said he knew Lilia wanted the same thing as him. But just because he knew that, it didn’t mean that Lilia shouldn’t make things clear for him. Not after this promise.

“Malleus. I care about you deeply. More than someone who serves the royal family should.” He finally admits. “Only one person stands above you in my heart, but that doesn’t lessen my feelings for you. Don’t forget that.”

Malleus doesn’t ask who that person in Lilia’s heart is. It’s obvious enough that he doesn’t need to.

“When the time comes, and I say I want you still-” Malleus pauses, like he’s trying to figure out his next words. Lilia smiles.

“The moment you say it, I’ll be yours.” He says simply. “Not a second sooner, nor a second later.”

He turns to look outside when he hears voices get closer and the flap of wings nearby. The bat has returned and hangs by the window. On the ground, those students rush up to the gates. Lilia flicks his hand, huffing out a laugh when he hears startled yelps as giant black thorns spring up before them, blocking the way. There’s a shift in air and suddenly Malleus is next to him, his own amusement clear when he sees what Lilia is doing.

“I’m going to go greet our rebellious students. Care to join me? I’m sure they’ll be very happy to see their Dorm Leader personally coming to see them.”

“I’m sure you just want to scare them for being bad at sneaking in and out.” Malleus says bluntly. Lilia’s tosses his head back with a laugh, giddiness bubbling in his chest.

“Haha! You caught me!”

Malleus watches him laugh with a warm look. He leans down, giving his own barelythere kiss. “I did.”

His words and actions bring Lilia up short. It’s his turn to be the stunned one. Malleus laughs quietly at his reaction before slipping out through the window and waits for him.

When Lilia recovers, he follows after Malleus with a shake of his head and a small smile. He’s not sure when it happened, but slowly he’s becoming the one that follows the others lead.

Many things could change between now and then. From their affections to their situation to the paths they choose to take. Nothing was certain other than they had more than enough time to figure it out.

Until then, Lilia will watch over Malleus and remain by his side as he has so far. And Malleus, though he had no reason to, will watch over him as well.

They cared deeply for each other. They were now facing it after avoiding for so long. Whatever happens next, they’ll get through it together.

That was one thing that wouldn’t change between them.


	2. to the here and now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Decided to add two (maybe three) more parts to this. I can't say when the next part will be up but please look forward to it.

“Lilia.”

Malleus had been searching for awhile by the time he finds Lilia.

He finds the fae sitting up in the trees, the shadows protecting him from the dimming sunlight. His back is towards him so Malleus can’t see his expression, but he sees Lilia jolt at the sound of his name. Before he can take a step closer, he finds himself on his back, Lilia on top of him.

There’s a hand next to Malleus’s head, fingers digging into the grass, while the other hovers over his throat. There’s no contact but he can feel the brush of something sharp prickle his skin.

“You shouldn’t mask your presence like that, my lord.” Lilia says lowly. His eyes glow as they narrow with a grim smile. “I could hurt you.”

It’s not a lie. Malleus knows how powerful his own strength is compared to Lilia's. But as just proven, Lilia is frighteningly fast, even more so than Malleus. His size even covering his strength. This false appearance hides the years of experience he truly holds and that alone outweighs Malleus’s own abilities even as one of the top magic users.

“You’d harm your lord?” Malleus asks sceptically, eyebrow raised. Lilia’s expression softens almost immediately. He sits back, straddling Malleus’s stomach. The spindles at his waist clink together with the movement. His coat, having flown off when he pinned Malleus, lays forgotten in the grass several paces away. Lilia's hand leaves his throat and Malleus sees the glove torn away from claws ripping through the leather.

“I’ll take my life before I ever truly harm you,” Lilia says. “But that doesn’t mean I still won’t teach you a lesson for sneaking up on me. That’s a dangerous move, even for you.”

He says this, but Malleus has yet to see Lilia harm someone out of mere carelessness.

“I was looking for you. You don’t usually just leave suddenly like you did for no reason. Something had to be wrong.”

“You thought something was wrong, yet masked your presence.” Lilia shakes his head. His lips tilt in a slight smirk. “Tell me, Malleus. Were you betting on my reluctance to harm what’s important to me or did you want to be held down like this?”

Since that day in Lilia’s room, since the near confessions, not much has changed between them. Lilia has kept his word on not starting anything while they stayed here. But sometimes, when they’re alone, he makes close to teasing remarks that acknowledge what's between them. It’s as though he ventures close to whatever line he’s drawn for himself, only to pull away at the last second. A self-control he seems to have no shame in playing around with if the mood strikes him.

Malleus’s eyes narrow. He's quick to grab Lilia’s wrist and all too easily turned them over. Lilia’s laugh fills the air, proving how he just gave in. Despite Malleus looming over him now and pinning Lilia’s hand by his head, Lilia is entirely unphased. Like he knew this would happen. One of his heels even digs into Malleus's lower back briefly before falling to the ground with a light thud.

“I don't think I'm the one that wants to be held down.”

“Ah, did I strike a nerve? Apologies, that wasn’t really my intention. But you do give entertaining responses.” Lilia muses. His claws returned to a normal length and his eyes have lost that lethal glow. But even as he remains so casual, there’s still a tense air around him. One that Malleus doesn’t know what to do about. Doesn’t know if Lilia will let him do anything about.

“You still haven’t answered my question.”

“You still haven’t asked me one.” Too quickly, Lilia’s expression goes oddly blank. “You won’t get answers unless you ask the right questions, Malleus. I won’t respond to vague commentary.”

The tone automatically brings out the irritation in Malleus. “I don’t want a lecture.”

“Don’t make me give one.” Lilia’s eyes narrow. “Ask properly and don’t assume you’ll get answers. You don't like indirect questioning, so do not presume it can be done with me.”

Ah. It wasn’t a lecture but still a lesson. Lilia was good at that. Quick advice and quick sharp or gentle scoldings to do better. Lilia did this with him, with Silver and Sebek. Even the other Diasomnia students and some of the other dorms. Another habit he’s never broken. Malleus wonders if his days of leading others engraved this into him.

“...You saw something in that book, didn't you? The one one Silver and Sebek were looking at with the Son of Man? Why did that picture bother you so much you had to disappear? With everything you hear and see in this place, you don’t react to it no matter what it is from the past. Why did that page make you run away that you would even brush Silver off when he shows you concern?”

“...now those are the right questions,” Lilia turns his head, staring off to the side. “Release me, Malleus. I don’t feel like being held down.”

Lilia speaks as if Malleus weren't aware of how easily Lilia could push him over in return if he had changed his mind. “You wouldn’t have let me do this if that were the case.”

“So much backtalk...well, you’re not wrong.” Lilia doesn’t look at him, but Malleus can still see the smile doesn’t reach his eyes. “Maybe I need something to ground me right now. To this time.”

There weren't many things that made Lilia like this. Lilia was always in control of his emotions, even when his patience wore thin. He wasn’t one to let many things get to him. It was almost too easy for him to dismiss things. Whatever this was about wasn’t something so easily brushed off.

They stay like that for awhile. Malleus remains over Lilia, still holding his arm down. Lilia doesn’t seem bothered by this. Instead, the tension starts to leave him little by little. Until after several minutes, he finally takes a deep breath and slowly lets it out. When he looks up at Malleus, he almost seems embarrassed.

With his free hand that still has the glove intact, Lilia caresses his fingers across Malleus’s cheek.

“You can release me now, Malleus. I’m okay. You have my word on that.”

Malleus hesitates. But Lilia’s eyes look clear now, that smile still small but no longer bitter. It isn’t much, but it’s enough that Malleus listens.

Once they’re both standing, Lilia walks off to where he left his Diasomnia coat. As usual, it falls around his shoulders while the ends trail along behind him. Malleus still isn’t sure if he really did make a mistake with the size or if he did it on purpose. With Lilia, any option was possible.

When Lilia is beside him again, he places a hand on Malleus’s arm. “Let’s go. I’m sure the children are getting antsy waiting for us.”

Malleus figures it's a sign that Lilia won't talk about whatever got to him and resigns himself to knowing he most likely never would. So instead, he nods and starts to retrace his steps when coming here.

They’re just about to the path when Malleus is pulled back. With his bare hand, Lilia grabbed onto his own and stopped him. Malleus had feel the quiver of his hand and the slight prickle of nails growing sharper. Before he can turn, Lilia leans his head against Malleus’s back.

Quietly, Lilia says, “Memories fade. Until they're a blur and mix together. But sometimes, they spring up unexpectedly with too much clarity. It's overwhelming. Even for me. That book...I didn’t expect to see that in a place like this. I didn't expect the Prefect Yu to find it somehow.”

It's the most Lilia's ever gotten to talking about something like this. Malleus wonders how much he can ask. “What did you remember?”

“...nothing good.”

“If I said to tell me about it, would you?”

“I wouldn’t. But that’s more for my sake than yours.” Lilia’s grip tightens on his hand. The claws don't break into the skin, but they still dig in enough for Malleus realizes Lilia probably isn't aware of them. “I don’t doubt you’d be okay hearing it. I doubt anything I would say will surprise you. But I’m not okay saying it.”

Then it clicks. So that’s what this is about. “Your time as the terrifying general.”

“And before that.” Lilia’s grip is even stronger. There's the scent of blood in the air now. His voice becomes distant and hollow. “Memories are a gift and burden. Sometimes, I don’t know what to do with them. I don’t know what I’ll do without them. It's stifling. It's too much and not enough. But having you here this time...helped. Having you there to ground me...it helped more than I can say. Knowing I have you with me.”

It’s the most Lilia’s confided in Malleus on something like this. For as long as Malleus could remember, Lilia always dismissed his past. Some things he talked freely about, others he evaded with well practiced words and warnings.

For Lilia to willingly show his vulnerability like this...

Malleus turns around. With his hand under Lilia’s chin, he ignores the cuts there tilts Lilia's head up enough so he can lean down and press their lips together. This one lingers longer than the previous two they’ve shared. He pulls away just to press a second kiss against those lips. Lilia makes a noise and takes half a step closer. When Malleus puts his hand to the back of Lilia's neck, Lilia's lips part and Malleus can feels his breath against his own.

When he pulls away after the third kiss, Lilia looks up at him with a curious expression and cheeks slightly flushed.

“...what was that for?”

“My own promise.” If Malleus sounds a little breathless, it's matched by how similar Lilia sounds when he speaks.

“And what promise do I have the honour of receiving from my lord?”

“You made me promise once to rely on you. When the tranquility of my mind is disturbed, to call on you. I’m returning that promise. A promise you can rely on me in the same way. Even if it’s only for brief periods like these. You always say to rely on you. I want you to understand you can do the same with me. If your tranquility of mind is so distressed that you need help to be grounded, call on me. I'll be there. No matter how much time passes.”

Lilia blinks up at him with wide eyes, unable to hide his surprise. Malleus can’t help but wonder when the last time was that Lilia felt he could truly rely on another. That the words weren't limited with actions or time. His expression then softens into something almost fond and shaky before looking away. Quietly, he says, “...really. Only you can make me feel like this. Always just you.”

Warmth flares inside of Malleus’s chest.

“What do I make you feel?”

Lilia lets out a laugh. It's small and short, but genuine all the same. He brings Malleus down and gives his own kiss in return. This one lingers as well. And if he indulges in a few more, Malleus won’t hold it against him.

“That, my king, is a conversation for another time.”


	3. these words only for you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun coincidence to finish this in time for Malleus's birthday. This is technically last chapter, next one will be more or less like and epilogue.

They've been back in the Valley of Thorns for less than a week, graduated and done with Night Raven College, when Lilia notices the look in Malleus's eyes.

“You miss that child, don’t you?”

“I do.” Malleus admits with ease. Lilia sees the warmth in his eyes, and the loneliness beneath it. Yu was the first connection Malleus had made on his own. Something that he kept close to his heart and would never forget. Even if memories fade when the years inevitably pass, the feelings will never be gone.

Lilia understands too well how hard this was for him. It would have been easy for Malleus to try to make Yu return with them. Convince them to come to the Valley of Thorns permanently. Instead, they parted with a promise to meet again.

Everyone knew how much Yu missed their home. How hard it was to finally make it happen. Malleus understood also. That's why he let the human go without a fight.

Lilia’s smile didn’t quite reach his eyes, but he was okay with that. He turned around, leaving Malleus alone in his room with his thoughts.

He wanted Malleus to keep his heart open.

He can’t begrudge him this important connection. He couldn't even if he wanted to.

Even if it shifts Lilia from his heart.

***

“ _And if one day, after we leave this place, you decide you still want me...then we can try.”_

***

“I wonder if Crowley will let me come back for another year. It shouldn’t be an issue considering how many times they kept Leona around. And he was much more a hassle to keep than I was.” Lilia muses. Silver sighs, covering his face with his hand. He grabs his suitcase before Lilia can even touch it and steps out of their home, like he's carrying a heavier weight than clothes and some personal items.

“Father, considering how last year ended, I think the Headmaster will have a heart attack if he sees you after what happened.”

Lilia shut the door behind them and waved his hand dismissively.

“I’m sure he’s over it. I didn’t scare him too badly after what happened to our lord,” Lilia’s eyes narrowed with a smirk. “A healthy dose of fear never harmed anyone.”

“You don’t know what a healthy dose of anything is, Old Man.” Silver replied bluntly. Lilia tossed his head back and laughed.

“Haha, so cruel! Ah, but you are wrong there. I think I adore this child before me a healthy amount,” Lilia pats Silver on the cheek with his left hand. His smirk softens to something warmer. “Or maybe it’s not enough. Can you blame this old soul for wanting to see how your final year goes? That one year apart was hard when I left with Malleus. Given the choice, I'd rather not do so again. It feels like I’ve given you too much freedom.”

Silver shakes his head with a smile of his own. “I really can't figure out if you hover too much or too little.”

“It’s part of being a Fae. We love strong but reluctant to let go.” Lilia sighs, dropping his hand. “Ah, I feel like I’m being abandoned. Maybe if I change my appearance they won’t notice.”

“Please don’t.” Silver grimaces. “Sebek and I are lucky we're even allowed back.”

“They wouldn't hold what I did against you both. And Malleus wasn't the only one who went through what he did, every dorm had an incident. They can't be angry over that, which it why I had my talk with Crowley.” Lilia shrugs. He sees the wary look Silver gets and changes the subject. “Let’s head to the palace. I’m sure Sebek is already sulking about leaving our King.”

Lilia expected their walk to be how it usually is. Silver asking for more training tips, both discussing whatever has caught Lilia's interest lately. Instead, Silver is unusually quiet. He doesn't really speak until they reach the edge of the forest and start along the path that leads through the village to the Palace.

“You and Malleus-Sama haven't seen each other much since you both graduated last semester.” He starts to say. “He hasn’t come by at all either. He always remained at the palace.”

Lilia blinks. Was that correct? He tries to think back when he saw Malleus last. There was the gathering a few days after their return. But they didn’t really interact much then either. They spoke when Lilia would watch over Silver and Sebek’s training. They had some meals together with the four of them.

Silver wasn't wrong. Not exactly. It didn’t seem like that much of difference, but of course it would to Silver. Lilia may have been the main one to raise Silver, but Malleus had been a big part of that. Even before spending the last two years at the same school in the same dorm, Silver was used to Malleus being around often.

But it wasn't like it was just Malleus not coming to their home. Lilia wasn't innocent in this either.

“I suppose so...”

Not much had changed. Lilia hasn’t lived in the palace for decades. His time there lessened even more when raising Silver. It was easy to brush off as his normal habits, instead of purposely reducing his visits to the palace this short while.

It wasn’t as easy brushing off how Malleus never came to their forest even once.

Lilia smiles weakly and rubs his arm. He really can't feel much about it. He would do the same in Malleus place. Has done the same a long time ago.

“Our prince was very fond of Ramshackle’s Prefect. Even if time moves differently for us, missing someone is always the same.” Lilia looks up at Silver’s concerned gaze before staring forward again. “We’re stubborn beings that can go from not feeling enough to feeling too much very easily. And when we separate from something dear, it doesn’t matter how time moves. You always feel it.”

“So Malleus-Sama misses Yu?” Silver frowned. “But why would that make him stay in the palace?”

“Often there were times I've missed someone. Friends and loved ones. To the point that being around others just remind of that feeling. I understand it might feel like a long time to you, to short those feelings out. But in a way, it feels shorter for us.”

“So why haven't you seen him much?”

Ah. This child of his was always straight to the point.

Lilia looks up as the palace comes into view.

“I wonder about that myself.”

* * *

All too soon, Lilia watches as Silver and Sebek disappear through the portal that will take them to the school. When they leave, Silver has a soft smile, saying he'll see them at break and makes Lilia promise one last time not to try coming to see them until then. Sebek has gotten better at reeling in his emotions, but he still becomes overwhelmed leaving Malleus's side and parting from Lilia.

Lilia waves until they're gone and once they are, he lets out a long breath. Right away, he can feel the presence near him move to his right side.

“You’re sad.”

“I am.” Lilia stays in the air, his hands behind his back. He sees no reason to hide this fact. “They’re both growing older. Silver more so. I want him to keep growing, but I also want to freeze time. I want to keep him close, but I also want him to be independent. It’s a contradiction I always fight when it comes to that child. I never quite get used to these feelings.”

“You knew what taking in a mortal child means.” Malleus reminds him.

“I know.” Lilia barely makes a sound when his feet touch the ground again. He wonders what expression he has when he looks at Malleus. “But as this old soul knows too well, knowing something is inevitable doesn’t make it easier. It just makes these mixed feelings harder to fight.”

Malleus doesn't have a response to that. Lilia's almost to the door when he calls him name.

“Lilia.”

Lilia stops in place but doesn't look back. “Hm?”

“Come stay at the palace.”

Lilia wasn't sure what he was expecting, but it wasn't that. He looks at Malleus and can only see sincerity in his expression.“Is there reason to stay at the palace?”

“I want you to stay here.”

Lilia can only stare at first. When Malleus doesn't show any sign of wavering, he says the first thing that comes to mind.

“....okay.”

* * *

Lilia doesn't fully move into the palace. He's always had his own room here and he always refused to dismiss the home he built away from the village. Still, he stays here more often than not now. He sees more of Malleus now yet they still don't really talk.

He watches Malleus closely these days and knows Malleus is doing the same. They don't talk about their time at Night Raven or whatever is happening in the Valley of Thorns. It feels like they're in a dance that neither knows how to do exactly but both reluctant to make the first attempt. Lilia wonders how much Malleus is thinking of that person he misses, and sighs when he realizes he's not sure he'd like any kind of answer to that. He wonders if he's being selfish or selfless leaving Malleus on his own with whatever is on his mind lately and wonder's if it'll be like this until Silver and Sebek's return.

Now that they cross his mind, Lilia becomes too aware of how quiet it is around him. The sounds of the palace are here but not the ones he wants to hear most. He's used to hearing Silver's voice trail off to soft mumbles as he falls asleep. Used to Sebek's voice being crystal clear no matter where he was.

Lilia misses them and despite knowing where they are and that they're safe, he worries for them. He has to remind himself of the promise he made. He has to trust they're okay on their own. It's not the first time they've been separated, but Lilia knows by now not to expect it to get any easier.

* * *

There are nights where Lilia cannot sit still and after a particularly irritating one, he finds himself wondering the palace halls. He already knows every inch of the palace and then some, but it's good to see if any changes have happened. He knows where to go and how to slip by the guards and night workers so he can go about without being stopped and talked to.

When that's done, he starts to explore the palace grounds.

At some point, Lilia realizes he hasn't touched his games much, not even the ones on his phone. He wonders if he's starting to fall into old habits. The thought threatens to bring others with it and Lilia smothers them down before they can fully form.

When he returns inside, Lilia was going through the west wing when he hears something that sounds like his name and stops like he walked into a wall. He waits, to make sure he heard correctly. He hears it again and with a wave of his hand, finds himself in Malleus's room just as lightning strikes outside.

His lord is sitting up in his bed, hand covering his face. Lilia can see the claws and scales slowly starting to form and his heart almost stops.

“Malleus!” Lilia is by his side and with one knee on the bed, takes Malleus's face in his hands and demands for his attention. “Focus!”

A clawed hand wraps around his wrist as Malleus blinks up at him. For a split second, Lilia thinks he's going to be pushed away and makes himself stay in place so he won't flinch back. Yet Malleus only holds on him and when he speaks, his voice is low but thankfully still steady.

“Lilia...”

“What is wrong?” Lilia searches his expression, trying to find a hint of anything that can tell him what to do.

“...nothing. Headache,” Malleus says lowly. He's breathing heavily and Lilia can hear his heart pounding. As even as his voice is, he's still shaking and his eyes jump around the room. Lilia knows these signs too well by now.

“Is that what we call nightmares now?” Lilia frowned. “A headache?”

“If you knew, why did you ask?”

“Why do you have to be so stubborn and not tell me the first time I ask?” Lilia responds back. He tucks some hair behind Malleus's ear and sighs. “Was it about the Overblot? Did you dream of that?”

Malleus's eyes flicker up at him. Then he nods.

Lilia can feel his heart crack. This is different from the times Malleus would be overwhelmed and his mind in disarray from too many negative emotions. Lilia can calm him from that. What happened with the Overblot was still too fresh for either of them to be okay with. It's something Lilia doesn't feel confident helping Malleus through and feels almost at a loss with. He's used to being able to comfort Malleus whenever he needed him. Lately, it feels like he's forgotten how. Forgotten many things.

So he asks the only thing he can. “What do you need?”

He's not sure if he's allowed to ask such a thing with how things have been between them. But like most of his habits, this one was hard to break.

The grip on his wrist tightens briefly before going slack.

“If I said for you to stay here,” Malleus says. “Will you?”

Lilia has his arms around him before he finishes the question, hugging him tightly. He pretends he doesn't notice the scales along Malleus's neck nor feel the spikes ripping his shirt along his spine.

Lilia didn't feel true fear very often. He's worried and been on edge. He's been anxious and overwhelmed, his senses pushed to be more alert of everything around him.

But true, ice cold fear was a rare thing. The day Malleus went into Overblot, Lilia felt it for the first time in decades. Whenever he remembers that day, he feels it stir up again and feels helpless. The guilt he feels almost chokes him when he realizes this is one of the things he left Malleus to sort out on his own

“I'll stay,” He says quietly. “As long as you want me to.”

Malleus's grip around his waist is too tight when he pulls Lilia into his lap, but he doesn't complain. Not even when he feels the claws threatening to break his skin and knows Malleus is just barely hanging onto whatever control those dreams threatened to take away.

“No one was badly hurt that day,” Lilia reminds him quietly. “Not Silver or Sebek. Not Yu. Not the Heartslabyul children. No one else. Cuts and bruises healed quickly with spells and potions. They were worried for you, and no permanent harm was done.”

“I hurt you.” Malleus presses his forehead into Lila's shoulder. “When it happened. I've seen how you move you arm. It still hurts you.”

Lilia can't deny that or play it off. Many times, he's held Malleus back from losing control. As badly as Lilia hoped it would never happen, it was inevitable that a time would come where Malleus was too far gone that he pushed him away.

Lilia pretends he doesn't still feel the long healed wound he got that day and asks, “...it doesn't hurt me as much as you think it does. Is that what your dream was about?”

“It was part of it.” Malleus's grip around him becomes less restricting but still holds him close. “Do you ever dream about it?”

“Sometimes,” Lilia admits. He doesn't like to think about it, it was a factor in his restless nights. “But for me, my dreams are more selfish. I dream of losing you, the children and the Ramshackle Prefect. I dream of what it would do to you harming those you hold dear after what happened. I dream of being too late. Everything else, I can handle. I wouldn't care if the school were destroyed and I would move past the other lives lost. But losing you or one of them...I'd be the one to Overblot next.”

Lilia was aware of how his mindset could get. There was his and there was everything else. There was what was important to him and those he loved, and there were others.

If people had died when Malleus went into Overblot, Lilia would be sad and mourn. But he thinks he'd be more sad for what it would do to Malleus than anything else.

It's a twisted thought, one harden but centuries passing by.

“...I don't believe that.” Malleus's voice rings clear. His arm around Lilia's waist tightens once more, preventing Lilia from pulling back to properly look at him.

“And why is that?” he asks quietly.

“Because I saw how you looked when we left. You hated leaving as much as I did. You miss it all. The school and our classmates. You loved it as much as everyone else did. Maybe you weren't aware, but I was.”

“...maybe I did.” Lilia rests his chin on Malleus's shoulder. His eyes find a crack in the headboard of the bed and focuses on that. “I don't think I've let myself think about it until now.”

“And I've been thinking about it too much.” Malleus turns his head and Lilia's breath hitches when he feels his lips brush his neck. “Will you spend the night in here? I want to sleep next to you. You're heartbeat is calming.”

Lilia takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. Part of him whats to find reason to refuse but he finds he doesn't want to. It's been a long time since he's slept next to Malleus and can't deny he also finds the others heartbeat to be calming now that it's slowed down.

And because Lilia has been becoming weak with indulging, he pulls away enough so he can turn his head and catch Malleus's lips with his own. They haven't kissed since coming home and there's almost a desperation to this one on both ends, even if it doesn't last long.

They've been distant with each other lately. Despite that, Lilia is grateful to see it hasn't fully gotten in the way of how natural it feels to be there for each other.

* * *

Only a few days pass after that when Malleus approaches him. It's a time when Lilia goes back to his home, this time to clean more than anything else. Silver and Sebek's break was coming up and Lilia was starting to let things clutter. When that was done, Lilia still had too much energy ringing through his body and tries to burn it off by practicing his sword forms outside.

At some point, he becomes aware of being watched but pays it no mind. It's only after he's gone through all forms several times that the person makes themselves known.

“You've been out here for hours.”

“You would only know that if you were watching me for that long,” Lilia smiles lightly when Malleus walks over. He pretends he doesn't notice the way Malleus eyes the sword then Lilia's arm. He wonders which guard Malleus gave the slip to be able to come here. His time at the school made him very well practiced in sneaking away. “If the children were around, it would be all day with how they train.”

“They get that from you.” Malleus points out. Lilia can't deny it and sighs.

“Unfortunately, it is one of my flaws that passed down. I wish I learned better before that happened.” It's one of the regrets Lilia tries not to linger on too much. He wipes away the sweat at his brow and looks up as Malleus gets closer. “So, is there something you need? I don't think you would hover without reason.”

“I don't hover.” Malleus gives him a flat look that's too close to a pout. It's a familiar sight and makes Lilia smile. It's all too easy to fall back into their usual pattern here, but all too soon, however, that smile is gone when Malleus continues to speak. “I wanted to talk with you. I thought it would be better here than at the palace.”

Lilia digs the sword a little too deep into the ground. “Talk of what?”

“I asked you once how I made you feel. You said it was a conversation for another time.”

Lilia thinks back and nods when the memory springs up. “I did.”

“Are those feelings like the contradictions you spoke of before?”

He sounds so confident, like he figured something out. Lilia can't help but be charmed by that self-assurance. It's not like he was wrong either so why get defensive over the truth?

“Perhaps.” Lilia looks up at the sky. The moon is still vibrant in the sky, giving up plenty of light. Sunrise wont be a awhile yet. There's only one reason why Malleus would bring this up now. “I assume you want that conversation now.”

“I do.”

Malleus may be ready for this, but Lilia's not sure if he's in the mood to talk about this yet. But he's always struggled to deny Malleus when it's something he's decided to do something on his own. Besides, Lilia did give him his word on this.

“Spar with me first.” Lilia decides in the end. “It's been awhile. If I'm to indulge you, surely you can indulge me as well.”

“ _Indulge?”_ Malleus repeats the word with great offense. The air crackles and Lilia knows he pushed a button he probably shouldn't have. Not with this.

“Also, no magic. Only swords. It’s too soon for you.”

Malleus huffs, looking more and more unimpressed and waves a hand. “I'll be fine. The others were fine using magic soon after.”

“The others don’t have your level of magic. I will not tempt fate and chances that way, not with you. No magic.” Lilia wisely leaves out the nightmares and instead smirks as he swings the sword in his hand. “Unless my Lord has been neglecting in his non magical dueling skills. A shame, the heir to the throne no longer able to wield a sword due lack of practice.”

That did it’s job. He could always count on this side of Malleus to shine through. Malleus narrowed his eyes and summoned his own weapon.

“Hmp. Fine.”

They stare at each other for a moment. Then they kick off the ground at the same time and the screech of metal fills the air.

They didn't often spar together with swords, but that was only because they never felt like it. Truth be told, as well as Lilia could handle a weapon he much preferred magic and hand-to-hand combat. Lilia was one of the few that could handle Malleus's strength, both magical and physical. Likewise, Malleus was one of few that couldn't keep up with Lilia and give him a challenge.

Neither had to hold back with each other. They can get as lost in the fight as they want.

Lilia jerks back from the sting across his cheek. He narrows his eyes and knocks the blade aside and kicks Malleus back to put some space between them. The other has the advantage of a longer reach and Lilia feels tempted to even things up when he takes up proper stance.

His thoughts must have been apparent for Malleus smirked. “No magic means no changing forms.”

Lilia can't help but laugh. “Ah, I suppose so. I guess I missed my chance before the dual, didn't I?” He lunges forward and Malleus just manages to block him. “Then again, I'm positive I have the higher score in both forms, do I not?”

Malleus frowns at that. Lilia can only laugh even more. Such a competitive prince!

The fight goes on with no real signs of winner. It becomes more trying to push the other to their limits. The longer it goes on, the more Lilia finds his jest from before is fading and replaced with impatience. He switches back and forth with how he wields his sword but finds his right is still slightly off. Malleus notices all of this and starts pushing back even more.

“For someone that wanted to put this off, you're quick now wanting to end this. Or were you lying about not being hurt still?”

That strikes a nerve in Lilia that he wasn't aware he had. Without much thought, Lilia ducks down to kick the back of Malleus's knees and knocks him down. Lilia digs a knee into his chest and lifts the sword high and thrusts it down with all his strength. It sinks deep into the ground, just next to Malleus's head.

They’re both breathing hard. Something like this isn’t enough to tire Lilia nor Malleus. Yet it still felt as though they extended too much energy.

They’ve been in a similar position before. Back then, it was Lilia’s claws just missing the others throat. Lost in memories, for that brief second, Lilia attacked.

This time, however, Lilia was too aware of the control he put into every action. He’s aware of Malleus’s own blade just barely touching Lilia’s neck. If Lilia makes the slightest movement forward, he will bleed.

He stares down into bright green eyes and feels something in him waver. He slides his knee from Malleus's chest and kneels beside him, keeping his hands on the sword. As he moves, the blade disappears from his throat before it can cut him.

“You asked what I feel for you. You asked what more contradictions I have. I’ll answer you.” He says quietly. “I can’t control my heart when I look at you. I feel so strongly towards you but so frustrated. I want so much but I've always had to control it. I want to try but I don't think I should. Everything so far feels like I've taken too much. You've become so important to me that I don't know what I should do about it.”

They're words Lilia never thought he'd speak out loud. He's thought them many times and pushed them away just as much. To say things out loud was to make them a reality. Now that he has, Lilia still can't tell if that reality will be kind to him.

Malleus is watching him closely. He reaches up and grabs onto Lilia's wrists, making him release the sword hilt.

“You feel the same as I do.”

“I do. For a long time now.” It was something they've both been aware of. Lilia just didn't feel like he could fully confirm it until now.

“So why did you get distant?”

“Why did you?”

“Don't answer my question with a question.” Malleus raised an eyebrow at him. Lilia can piratically hear his thoughts calling him a hypocrite. How many times has Lilia told Malleus that same thing. Under different circumstances, it would make Lilia laugh. But right now, Malleus needs his honesty and enough with his deflections.

“I know how deeply you miss the Prefect. Not just the school as a whole. But Yu specifically. You've been thinking about them ever since they went back to their own world.”

That surprised Malleus. “You don't seem like the type to get jealous.”

“Everyone feels jealousy, Malleus,” Lilia smiles weakly. “I am no exception. I just don't threaten those that get too close to what I think they shouldn't.” Malleus huffs but doesn't try denying it. Nor does he call out on the half truth Lilia just told. “However, what I feel is something other than just jealousy. I worry for you. I worry for that person also. The both of you.”

The hands on his wrists tighten. “I don't understand.”

“I’ve said before. The moment you say those words, I'll be yours. Not a second before. Not a second later.” Lilia says. “I wouldn’t blame you for having another in your heart. That would be hypocritical of me. I thought you needed space to figure those feelings out for yourself. I had my own feelings to sort out, but in the end I just tried not to think about it at all.”

Malleus told him once that he closes his heart off despite telling him and Silver and Sebek to keep theirs open. Yet Malleus is also aware how much of a struggle it is to keep his heart open the way he does, even if it's a small amount.

Once again, Lilia is made aware for as much as he's tried being for Malleus, without realizing it, he's been trying to do the same with Lilia in his own way.

“You and I have the luxury of time to figure things out. We can take as much time as we need to find what works for us. Yu does not have that. Whatever kind of relationship you want with them, I can’t influence that. Yes, I’ve been distant and for the most part, purposely so. Partially because of my own selfish feelings. But also because I don’t want you to have regrets with that person. Whether it be friendship or something else, I didn't want to hold you back from figuring it out. From going to see the one you miss if you ended up deciding to do so.”

Lilia was being difficult. He was well aware of this.

He never wanted to give himself hope or believe he is allowed to want for himself. He knew this time would cut deeper for him and he was right. The thought that Malleus found someone else to give his heart to, Lilia didn't know how to react. He was so used to encouraging his lord to do more for himself with others, he didn't think of his own feelings until they left the school. By then, Lilia was at a loss, unable to understand it.

The air around Lilia suddenly shifts too quickly for him to counteract and he finds himself on his back. He's too surprised to react and blinks up at the glaring green eyes over him.

Malleus almost looks angry when he realizes what lies beneath Lilia's words and feelings. There's a hint of smoke coming his mouth and Lilia knows he's pushed it again.

“You thought I didn’t want you anymore. You thought my feelings changed.”

Lilia can't help himself and huffs a small laugh. That only makes the glare worse. He presses a hand to Malleus's cheek, and traces his thumb across his bottom lip. That seems to calm the other slightly, but he still looks upset.

“Our kind do not let go that easily. I know you still want me. But there’s a difference between wanting and giving.”

The heart can want for many things, good and bad. Giving that heart, however, is different. Lilia knew that all too well.

Malleus understands what he means quicker this time. “I said I had no reason to keep my heart if you’re the one I give it to.”

“You did.” Lilia moves his hand to the middle of Malleus’s chest. “I’m sure you remember your research from Halloween. Eastern dragons have something called a pearl. It’s dangerous for them to give that away. You don’t have something like that. But in a way, it’s still dangerous to give your heart away. Are you sure you want someone like me take care of it?”

“You say that like there’s something wrong in doing so.”

“I’ve shattered many hearts over the years, Malleus,” Lilia gives a bitter smile. “Both intentionally and unintentionally. Metaphorically and very much quite literally. You trust me not to do so with you?”

Lilia would never want that for Malleus. Lilia has not been joking when he once told the other he would sooner take his own like than bring harm to Malleus. But Lilia also understands many things can’t be helped despite best intentions. He learned that recently when Malleus went into Overblot.

It would be one thing if he intentionally hurt this precious person of his. If he accidentally did so despite trying so hard not to, Lilia would never be able to handle it.

Malleus's hand covers Lilia's. Holding it against his chest and over his heart.

“Lilia. I’ve known you for a very long time. I know you haven’t always been a good person. I know you don’t always do good things now. I’ve never cared about that. However, I do know how desperate you try to keep your heart open despite everything you’ve seen and done. I know how kind and loving you are despite the world you've experienced. There’s no one else I’d trust or want like this.”

“What about Yu?” Lilia can't help but ask.

“I don’t know what that feeling is. Other than they are special to me. Someone important. But I know what I feel for them is different from you.” Malleus says quietly. “None of it compares to that. Precious as they are to me, it’s nothing like how I feel for you. How you make me feel.”

That warmth Lilia's grown used to feeling returns. This time is different. This time, it's not followed by that lingering frustration that always follows too close behind.

Lilia moves to sit up and Malleus lets him. But he remains close enough that Lilia can reach out to cup Malleus's face in his hand.

“We're too similar at times. We each have a special person. And cruel as the world is, our time with them is shorter than we could ever want it to be.” Lilia stroked his thumb across Malleus’s cheek. “Go see them. I know you've been contemplating it. I’m sure Yu would be very happy to see you once more. It may do you some good seeing that world on your own, for the most part. I trust you can handle something like that now.”

“What about you?” Malleus frowned. “I know you miss the children.”

“I’ll be doing the opposite, I’m afraid. Silver made me promise to wait until break to see him and he'll be very displeased if I break that. I should try to respect that. At the very least, make it seem like I’m putting an effort into it.” Lilia chuckled. “I’ll be fine, Malleus. I'll arrange things so you can travel alone, difficult as it may be to deal with. I convinced the Queen to let you go to Night Raven, I can convince her trust you to be on your own for a vacation. I'll take care of things while you’re gone. My standing allows that much. So take your time.”

“You won't get jealous?” Malleus's lips curl as his eyes narrow. He's teasing now and Lilia's not sure if he should laugh or be the one to pout for once.

“I'll be very jealous.” Lilia admits. “But also happy. It may be in a different way, but I'm also very fond of the Prefect in my own way. I could never hold resentment against someone who makes you as happy as they have.”

And because Lilia is enjoying this warmth in his chest, he tugs on Malleus's robes and lets himself fall back against the ground, pulling Malleus on top of him.

“You just have to make it up to me when you return.” He traces Malleus's lips with his finger. “But know there's one thing I won't forgive. Just as with giving me your heart, this alone is for me. And I'll promise the same in return. No matter how much time passes for us.”

Malleus laughs before pressing his lips to Lilia's hand. Lilia can feel his smile as he says, what Lilia prevented him from doing so before, “You're the only one I want. Now and always.”

This time when they kiss, it’s far more heated than any of the others have been before this. It was as though they were making up for the time they’ve been distant and the time they’ll soon be apart.

Lilia had long since grown used to wanting things yet keeping them at bay. He still felt like this was too much but he wants to accept what Malleus is giving him. Malleus gave him his heart, so Lilia will do so in return. Only Malleus can make him feel this way, and so it only makes sense that it's Malleus who Lilia wants to give his heart to.

Nothing will change that.


	4. an epilogue of sorts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter. Just glimpses of MalleLili's relationship and their dynamic since getting together.
> 
> Thank you for reading, it's been fun exploring this relationship!

“You’re happier.”

It comes with no warning, but then again, this child was very good at surprising Lilia.

Lilia looks up from his phone to meet Silver’s stare. He’s been aware the boy has been watching him for awhile now. His child wasn’t easily distracted from his sword drills, but today there seemed to be something troubling his mind. But when Lilia decided he would wait for Silver to speak up, he didn’t expect this to be it.

“You will have to explain that line of thought to me, Silver,” he gets up from his spot on the grass and brushes dirt from his pants. “I wasn’t aware I’ve been unhappy lately.”

“I didn’t mean it like that, Old Man, I just meant...” Silver tries too find the words. He sheaths his sword and crosses his arms, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. It reminds Lilia of when Silver was younger and can't help but smile. “You can be distant sometimes, and I don’t always understand why. I try, but I can’t. But you always made sure I was happy growing up despite that. Sebek, too, when he’d stay with us. I know you were happy with us, it's just now seems like you’re...happier than before, I guess. I know there’s stuff you won’t talk to me about because you’re my father. But lately it seems like you’ve been opening up more. Especially with Malleus-Sama. You two seem closer.”

Lilia blinked. He wasn’t aware Silver had picked up on so much.

It's been several months since him and Malleus came together. It didn't feel like much changed while while Silver and Sebek were at school, but maybe more changed than he realized if they picked up on something during their breaks. It almost amuses Lilia, picturing the two of them discussing whatever changed between him and Malleus and trying to guess what it is.

“You’re a very observant child.”

“I’ve always thought of you as my father, but Malleus-Sama helped raise me also. So I’ve always been watching you two.” Silver shrugs slightly. “I want you two to be happy. If that’s together in the way I think is happening...I’m glad you have each other.”

Hearing those words, a warmth fills Lilia's chest until he feels like it's going to overflow. He's always adored Silver. From the moment he took in this child, he's loved Silver. Lilia knew there were times he made mistakes, and sometimes he worried how those mistakes still affected this child. Yet he's never once considered that Silver worried over him also and had his own wishes for Lilia in return.

Lilia steps closer and flies up so he’s at eye level with Silver. He presses a hand against Silver’s check, smiling fondly.

“I’ve made you worry, haven’t I?”

“You’re my family. I’ll always worry about you.” Silver says like it's the most obvious thing in the world.

“Heh. Sentimental boy.” Lilia runs a hand through Silvers hair before pressing their foreheads together. “You’re one of my greatest joys in life. The most important one in all my years combined. Never forget that.”

Silvers expression softens. “I love you, too, father.”

* * *

“I raised a fine young man, Malleus.” Lilia announces when he finds Malleus in the library. He has a book laid out before him and pen and paper nearby. Lilia gives it a curious look but dismisses for more important matters. “Our Silver is truly wonderful.”

Malleus raises an eyebrow at him. He closes his book, pushing it aside just as Lilia goes to sit on the table. “You say you alone raise him, yet call him ours. Make up your mind on the matter.”

Lilia’s smile turns sharp and he narrows his eyes. “He is mine but I will share with you. After all, you were also adamant on taking care of him with me when he was an infant.”

Malleus huffs a laugh. He leans back in his chair, his hand coming up to rest on Lilia’s thigh.

“You praise him on a regular basis, why is _our_ Silver wonderful today?”

“He said he loves me,” Lilia’s expression softens, as does Malleus’s. “And he’s happy for us. I didn’t tell him and I don’t think you did, but he’s figured it out.”

“I didn’t say anything,” Malleus confirms. “I wonder if Sebek knows.”

“Probably. Those two tell each other everything.” Lilia shrugs. “I won't be surprised if next time we see him, he yells a congratulations at us.”

It's an entertaining thought. Lilia wonders if he'll be able to find Silver in time for him to update Sebek on what he found out.

“How does that make you feel? Them knowing?”

Lilia wonders if Malleus is waiting for him to run from this. Or dismiss the subject completely. It's not an unreasonable expectation. Even Lilia expects that instinct to pop up in him, but to his surprise it's so easy to smother that feeling when he feels it start to rise.

So he leans down, tilting Malleus’s head up with a finger under his chin so he can press a kiss to those lips and murmurs, “It makes me feel happy.”

* * *

An evening comes where Lilia once again finds Malleus with another book along with pen and paper, this time in his room rather than the library. Curiousity overtakes him this time. He places the bottle he was holding onto Malleus's desk as he peers over his shoulder.

“Letter for Yu?”

“Yes. I received one from them recently.” Malleus almost looks smug over it and Lilia wonders if it'll be worth the pouting later if he teases him over it.

“It's good you're still keeping in touch, but why not text? I know the prefect still has the phone Crowley gave them so even we can reach them in their world.”

“Letters are more personal.” Malleus dismisses his words with a wave. “It's true text is instant but this way is better.”

“Are you just saying that because you keep forgetting to charge that phone of yours?”

Ah. There's that pout. Looks like Lilia hit the mark on that one.

Instead of giving him a response, Malleus stands and moves about to put his things away. Lilia leans against the desk, looking around the room. Now that he's paying attention, he realized more stuff has been added. Before, Malleus didn't keep many things in here. Before, it was only things made by young Silver and Sebek, and things Lilia would bring back over the years from his travels. It was the promise of gifts that used to make his prince stop sulking every time he realized Lilia's stays at the palace weren't for very long.

But now, there's other things included. Gifts he'd gotten from his birthdays with the Diasomnia students and that year with Yu. Things he created while at NRC. Lilia spots the book Malleus had with him in the library last week and realizes it's one Ortho gave him.

Every where he looks, there's proof of the time Malleus spent trying to build connections. Lilia smiles softly at the sight of it all. With how things almost ended, he's glad Malleus didn't regret his time there.

“Lilia,” his name being called brings Lilia out of his thoughts. He looks up as Malleus comes to stand next to him and opens the bottle Lilia had brought with him.

“What is this for?” Malleus sniffs at it and grimaces. With a laugh, Lilia takes it back.

“Just an regular energy booster potion. I overdid it in the sun with Silver and Sebek today.”

Lilia’s about to take a sip when he notices the look Malleus gets.

“Something wrong?”

“You truly don’t taste those, do you?”

“I can taste them just fine,” Lilia take a quick drink and licks his lips. It doesn't taste like anything he could describe properly but he does like it nonetheless. “I just don’t see why so many dislike it. I find them very enjoyable.”

“Your taste in things is the reason I’m grateful I don’t need to eat so often.” Lilia looks up to see Malleus smirking. “A shame if you were labeled a traitor for accidentally food poisoning the heir.”

“How rude! You’re just picky. Silver ate everything I ever made him growing up. And he still eats what I make. So does Sebek. He cries he's so happy to eat what I make.”

“Silver’s too polite to turn away food you made. He cried the first time he ate at the palace because he didn’t know food was supposed to be enjoyable. Sebek cries because he's too loyal to spit it out as he should.”

“You’re being awfully cruel to me tonight,” Lilia sighs with false offense. It takes everything in him not break out into a smile. “I do not deserve such treatment. How cruel my lord has become.”

He puts the bottle down after drinking the rest, licking his lips. Energy potions always leave him feeling chilled, but it feels nice when he needs it after being in the sun for too long.

With an exaggerated sigh, Lilia places the empty bottle on the desk. “Is this how the years will be from now on? Being told how awful my taste is by a cruel lord?”

Malleus leans into his space and Lilia supposes it would be intimidating to some to have him close like this. For Lilia, it only amuses him greatly.

“I can be much more cruel if you keep with the awful dramatics.”

This time, Lilia smirks. He tugs on Malleus’s robes, bringing him down closer to his height. Yet at the same time, he purposely turns away every time Malleus tries closing the rest of that distance.

“I am not the dramatic one between us, Malleus.” He says quietly. “Or have you forgotten the time you sulked for a week because of-“

He lets out a startled noise when Malleus pulls him in with a hand on his waist-when did that get there?- and kisses him so deeply that Lilia actually bends back. He finds himself clinging to the edge of the desk with one hand to support his weight while the other gets tangled in Malleus’s hair.

Lilia wonders if he'll ever get used to this. The passion that Malleus can throw at him is as overwhelming as it is amusing. Lilia never knows if he should give in right away or laugh at the joy it brings him.

When they break apart, Malleus grimaces.

“You taste like the potion.”

“I can’t imagine why.” Lilia says flatly. He tugs at the end of Malleus’s hair enough to sting. “Don’t kiss me if you’re just going to make that face and complain about it. Even I'll be offended by such a thing.”

“Don’t drink potions before I kiss you.”

“You may be my future king, but do not assume I’ll listen so easily when you say nonsense like that.” Lilia narrows his eyes playfully. “Besides, just who do you think will end up being the cruel one in the end, hm?”

Lilia moves his hand down until it rests over Malleus's chest. Like this, he can feel his heartbeat.

“That reminds me though...if I have such bad taste, does this count as the same thing?” Lilia asks. Apparently this was something not to be teased over, since Malleus's annoyance becomes visible and he becomes determined not to give Lilia enough time to speak after that.

This time, Lilia does laugh over how ridiculous it all is.

* * *

* * *

Malleus hears Lilia before he sees him. He's pretends he's not aware it and continues his walk through the garden. He waits and soon enough, he hears the startled yells of Silver and Sebek followed by Lilia's joyous laugh.

“ _LI-LILIA-SAMA_?!”

“Can...can you please stop that, Father?!”

“Good attendants and guards should be well aware of their surroundings,” Lilia chuckles. “Ah, I'll never tire of your reactions. And what are we doing up at this time, hm?”

“Young Master wished to go for a walk,” Sebek says immediately. Malleus can hear the smile in his tone. “So we came out here for awhile.”

“At this time?” Lilia gasps with false concern. “Good children should be resting at this time.”

“A week ago, you tried keeping me up for two days for a game quest, Old Man.” Silver says flatly. His tone reminds Malleus so much of Lilia when his patience reaches it's end, Malleus can't help the laugh that slips out. He hears the amused hum Lilia makes and knows he was heard as well.

“This and that are two different things. Which reminds me, I'm borrowing Silver for a moment. It won't take long.”

“I shall inform the Young Master!”

“Hehe, thank you, Sebek.”

Lilia wonders off somewhere with Silver and soon after, Sebek finds him.

“Lilia-Sama was just here, Young Master,” he says once he's closer. “But he will be back soon.”

“I heard. It sounds like he gave you and Silver quite the scare,” Malleus smirks. Sebek's complexion flushes slightly.

“That's-That's because he just pops out! Lilia-Sama can be so quiet, I don't know how he does it...” Sebek trails off with a mutter.

“He's very good at that. Lilia's always taken joy in scaring people when he can,” Malleus thinks back to when he was a child. Whenever Lilia came to the palace, instead of sending notice he would just appear in front of Malleus before going off to see his grandmother. “He's even startled my grandmother a few times. It's lucky he is so favoured, otherwise she'd have him thrown out.”

“E-Even the Queen!? Lilia-Sama is too daring!” Sebek looks torn between horror and awe. An appropriate reaction when it comes to Lilia, Malleus thinks.

“Ah, that reminds me! Young Master, there's something I wish to tell you,” Sebek says suddenly. Malleus watches him and waits. “I know it's not my place to comment on certain stuff, but I just wanted to say I'm happy that you're happy with Lilia-Sama.”

“You've said as much before, Sebek.”

Malleus still remembers the laughing fit Lilia had when his theory proved right, when Sebek congratulated them loudly before Silver covered his mouth.

“I know, but I was reminded again just now what a great thing it is,” Sebek explains. Lately, he's been making more of effort to speak casually with Malleus. Even if his words still held some stiffness and formality to them, he did speak his mind more often now. Something Malleus was glad to see. “When we first came out here, you seemed like you were in a bad mood. When Lilia-Sama showed up, I could hear you laughing. I'm glad having him nearby makes you happy, Young Master.”

Malleus blinks. He didn't know what to expect from Sebek, but it certainly wasn't something like this. Before he can comment on it, Lilia's voice sounds at the edge of the garden calling Sebek over. Sebek starts to turn away, but stops and quickly looks at Malleus.

“You may go.” Malleus tells him.

Once Malleus is alone again, he continues his stroll through the garden. Some time passes before there's a sound behind him and when he turns, he finds himself suddenly faced with an upside down Lilia.

“I was wondering through the halls and realized my favourite people weren't inside,” Lilia crosses his arms. “And then I find out you three came to the gardens without me.”

“You found us anyway.”

“I can find you anywhere.” Lilia's eyes narrow. “Sebek says you've been pacing tonight. He's worried. Spend some time with him tomorrow while I take Silver into town. I want to go when a shop opens so I've sent them to bed.”

“You sent them away?”

“I believe I'm more than enough to keep an eye on you,” Lilia flips over and lands lightly on his feet. He looks up at Malleus, this time with a frown. “You haven’t been sleeping lately. Something on your mind?”

Malleus wonders if Lilia would acknowledge his own sleepless nights if he were to bring it up. “Why do you ask?”

“Even if I’m asleep, I notice when the spot next to me in empty. Especially when it's been going on for awhile. Unless you've been sleeping somewhere I'm not aware of, I know you've been awake for too long.” Lilia waves a hand. “You also get moodier the longer you go without sleeping.”

“I do not.”

“Yes, you do. Always have, always will,” Lilia grabs Malleus’s hand and starts leading him down a path. It takes them to the edge of the garden, through the wall of thorns and roses. “Since we’re both awake and I've sent the children to sleep, spend some time with me. You can help me with my little hunt.”

Malleus wants to protest being lead around but Lilia's words catch his attention.

“Hunt?”

“Mm-hm. It’s a game you play on cellphone. It’s like a scavenger hunt. Cater showed it to me once when we were in school. Every two weeks there's a new list of things. You take photos when you find what's listed to show you found them. You get points and prizes if you collect enough within a certain time. Sometimes there’s hard to find items to make things complicated.” Lilia dug his phone from his pocket. He fiddled with it for several seconds before handing it to Malleus. “Here’s the list. Pick something we can look for together.”

Malleus looked through the list. There were some mundane and trivial things on there. Some that he was positive Lilia had back at his home, as impossible as they seemed to be around in this day and age.

Then a word catches his eye and he starts to laugh.

“Oh? Find something?” Lilia floats up to look at what caught his attention. Malleus knows Lilia spots it when he leans his head on Malleus's shoulder, shaking from his own laughs.

At the very end of the list was the name of the exact same tamagotchi Lilia had gotten Malleus years ago.

* * *

It's not often Lilia does training with others outside of Silver and Sebek. Malleus was aware of how reluctant Lilia gets with it. As much fun as he has with the ones he looked over, he's long since grown tired of training large groups of potential guards and soldiers.

“ _I don't need to go back to that mindset. Not after trying to move past it for their sake.”_ Malleus remembers Lilia saying once, while they watched a young Silver and Sebek splash around in a shallow river.

It's a rare things now, so when Malleus finds out Lilia agreed to such a thing, he decided to watched from afar.

“Again.”

There are shouts and heavy breathing. Dirt goes flying whenever someone loses their footing.

“Again.”

Lilia's voice rings clear across the grounds. Even from here, Malleus can make out his pinched expression. It makes him recall decades ago when he last saw Lilia do something like this. Back then, it was a different form. Stricter voice. Longer hair in the breeze.

Yet still the same patience with those that tried their hardest and thinly veiled threats to those that didn't.

“Halt.”

Lilia walks in someone in the middle and adjusts their stance. “This causes more strain. Adjust your hold or else it’ll be easily knocked loose.”

“Un-Understood!”

Lilia walks through the line then suddenly looks over his shoulder. “And if the gentleman at the very back would be so kind as to not assume I can't see what is going on, we can finish things sooner. Unless he doesn't mind that in return, I assume he can finish practice without that hand.”

There's a scuffle at the back and startles noises, then silence. Malleus watches in amusement as Lilia let's that silence hang before carrying on with a smile.

It continues like this for another hour before Lilia leaves them all to spar against each other and watches over them now. It's then Malleus decides to approach him.

“You hate being in charge of the training.”

“I don’t hate the training. It’s the reasons why I can do it so well that I hate. I also don't like the offense of them not listening to me the first time I speak.” Lilia sighs. With a hand on his hip, he tips head back, leaning backwards until his head brushes Malleus's chest and smiles. “Hello, Malleus. To what do I owe the pleasure of your interruption? Tired of just watching?”

Malleus wonders if he'll ever be able to go unnoticed by Lilia. Then again, he always knows when Lilia is nearby in return.

“Are you done here?”

“We can be. I was only doing a favour watching over this group. I have nothing to do when Silver and Sebek are in town together.” Lilia shrugs. He calls out to dismiss everyone, nodding when they salute him in return and thank him for his time. When he leaves with Malleus, there's some whispers that start up that neither pay attention to.

Their relationship is an open secret to those that work and stay within the palace. Though neither Lilia nor Malleus have said much about it outside of to Silver and Sebek, it seems like plenty have caught on to something. Malleus still waits for his grandmother's words on the matter. He isn't sure if the lack of one is the response itself, or her having other matters to be concerned over.

Something flies by them when the reach the steps leading into the palace. Lilia holds out his hand as a bat briefly hands on his palm before flying off again.

“Did something happen?” With Lilia's affinity for them, Malleus could never tell when one was around to inform Lilia of something, or was simply drawn to him.

“Just an update on the children. It seems like they got caught up helping around town again.” Lilia frowned. “If they get too distracted with the time, I'll go check on them.”

Lilia turns to look back at Malleus. “Do you want to come with me? It's been awhile since you've been in town. I'm sure the people will be very excited to see you.”

“I'll think about it.” Malleus never saw much reason to go as often as Lilia with Silver or Sebek. But he may make an exception today. “You've been going there often.”

“I need to prepare things for my trip. And I know Silver and Sebek are capable, but I'd like to leave somethings at home in case they did anything in an emergency.”

The response brings Malleus up short.

That's right. He almost forgot.

Or rather, he'd been avoiding thinking of such a thing.

Reluctantly, he asks, “When are you leaving?”

“Let’s see...I’ll be leaving the palace soon enough. I’d like to spend a few days at home before I do leave. ” Lilia looks at at the sky, his expression suddenly blank. “There's some things I want to get in order here before that.”

“I’ll be coming to stay with you.”

Lilia only hums in response.

* * *

* * *

Lilia is very aware of the eyes following him around the room, but he ignores it. He picks up the books from the floor and flies up to finally put them in their proper place on one of the many too fall bookcases. When he goes to the next one, he pauses when his name is called.

“Lilia.”

“Hm?” Lilia hums absently. When he's only met with more silence, he looks down over his shoulder. As he thought, Malleus is still watching him intently. So Lilia lightly kicks off the nearby wall and turns over. He ends up in front of Malleus and meets those bright green eyes while upside down. “Don’t think I cant feel you burning holes into my back. Why the pouting?”

“I’m not pouting.”

“Then what’s with this look?” Lilia goes to poke Malleus's cheek and laughs when his hand is caught. He turns so he's right side up again, holding onto Malleus's hand in return. “How about a break?”

Lilia's been taking his time cleaning. Malleus helps, but he knows how dull his lord finds cleaning without magic. Usually, he gets Silver and Sebek to help him with them but today is different. They'll be coming here tomorrow, so Lilia's only doing what he feels like for now.

“We could be finished this by now if you didn't insist on doing things this way,” Malleus says when Lilia prepares the tea. He leans against the counter, watching Lilia instead of sitting at the table and waiting there.

It's strange, but even after all this time Lilia is still bemused over how well Malleus fits in this place. For someone of royal blood, he's always been oddly content in this place Lilia had set up all those decades ago right from the start.

“There's nothing wrong with doing chores this way, Malleus. Even a prince should clean without magic every now and then. It's very humbling.” Lilia can't help but tease.

“Are you sure you're not trying to delay yourself like this?”

Lilia had been about to get the teacups when he freezes at his words. There's a flash of irritation in him, like he'd been seen through something he hadn't been aware of himself.

Too much time passes and when he still doesn't move or respond, he feels Malleus move closer. Lilia takes a deep breath and turns in place, leaning back against the counter. When he looks up, Malleus already has his hands are on either side of Lilia and braced against the counter top.

“Do you actually want to leave?” He asks.

“I do,” Lilia says without missing a beat. “It's just...been awhile since I left. It feels different this time.”

Lilia pushes Malleus back enough before moving to sit on the counter. Right away, Malleus's hands are on his waist as he leans down and presses his forehead against Lilia's. His expression is close the the pouting one Lilia called out earlier, and Lilia can't help but give a small smile at the sight of it.

Quietly, Malleus says, “You're right. I wonder why this feels so different.”

“It’s been awhile since I've traveled. And we're not used to parting anymore,” Lilia remembers telling Silver about missing people always being the same, no matter how your perception of time is. He hasn’t traveled since Silver came into his life. For several years before that, he hadn't left the Valley of Thorns either. It's the longest he's gone not exploring. “You don't go for long when visiting Yu. This will be different. I don't know how long I'll be away for.”

Lilia's been restless. Even if he's been everywhere possible, he still wants to see how things have changed. But as they've realized, this time feels so different from the others. As silly as it is, Lilia feels as though he's already forgotten what it's like to leave without a second thought.

Unexpectedly, Malleus says, “Come back.”

“Where else would I go? I always come back, don’t I?” Lilia chuckles. “My family is here. My home is here. Everything is here.”

He presses his hand against the center of Malleus’s chest.

“My heart is here. And the one who protects it is here. And I have one to hold onto in return. I have no desire to never return to all this.”

Malleus gave Lilia his heart. Lilia knew Malleus had his for a long time now, but was always afraid of vocalizing it. It was like a taboo for him. Learning to accept it was difficult, and some days it still ways.

Lilia already knows he won’t be able to stay away for long, even if he doesn't know exactly how long it will be. When he first started traveling, he never bothered to keep track. The shortest his travels used to take was months, the longest several years that would go by in a blink of an eye.

“I'm hoping you can join me next time I leave,” Lilia confesses. “I want to travel with you and Silver and Sebek. I want you all to see the places I've been to. I want to experience them all over again with my family.”

When he convinced the Queen to let Malleus go to Night Raven, it was for his sake. When he told Malleus to go see Yu, it was for both him and that person's sake. Now, it was only for his own selfish desire. Wanting to be able to leave but take what he cherished along with him. Even if it was for a short time.

Lilia doesn't know if his words struck something within Malleus or if he had some kind of expression that did it. But when Malleus kisses him suddenly, he takes Lilia's breath away all too easily.

When they kiss, it goes from gentle to too much for either of them. They soon forget about the tea and chores, ending up in the room Lilia often shared with Malleus. Each touch is drawn out, every sound memorized.

When Lilia leaves in a few days, it'll be the first time he'll leave knowing he has so much to return to. Something that was routine for him has shifted to something different over time. People he cares deeply for will be waiting for him, no matter what.

He has a family in his heart now, something he never let himself picture before. What he has with those children, what he now has with Malleus...it's something he'll forever treasure.


End file.
